The Lies of a Pregnant Lady

The first trimester is tricky (for so many reasons) but I found trying to act like I wasn’t pregnant and not being able to share it really tough! Having survived it (whilst lying through my teeth) I thought I should share my top 5 lies for trying to survive the first trimester without drinking. There will be pressure to “just have a drink” and don’t mind those sneaky glares and whispers of “is she pregnant?.” To avoid that I manipulated my medical knowledge to make the excuses fool proof and now you can use them too!

 

  1. “I’m on Metronidazole for a tooth infection”

 

This baby (excuse the pun!) was my ‘go to’ and worked on groups of doctors at social events who bought the story hook, line and sinker. Metronidazole is an antibiotic that is often used in severe dental infections – you can’t drink on it for 2 reasons: firstly you get very sick and vomit and secondly it can cause major liver issues. So it’s the perfect reason as to why you can’t even TOUCH alcohol.

 

Hot tip – you need to pretend your tooth is a little bit sore! I forgot to do this and it makes you look a little stupid!! So pick a tooth and don’t forget to feign the pain now and then – and ideally don’t order a chewy well done steak for dinner (again – a double mistake I made: you don’t eat steak with a sore tooth and secondly, who has their steak well done other than a pregnant woman?).

 

  1. “My GP said my liver tests were a bit off and to avoid alcohol”

 

This is not uncommon. Fatty liver is a major problem with alcohol use, obesity and poor diet. So it’s not uncommon for me to tell my patients to lay off the booze and change their lifestyle so we can recheck the liver. You can easily use this – strict no alcohol until your next liver test which might be 4 or 8 weeks (whichever suits to get you to the ‘safe’ telling period!).

 

  1. “I’m doing dry [insert whatever month it is]”

 

Stick to your guns. People will try and guilt you into drinking – but just be firm – you are trying to do a health kick. You can only use a reason for so long – so you need to be creative and mix it up – I used this one once I was near the time when I could tell people just to buy some extra time.

 

  1. Glass swap

 

Get your partner or friend (who is in the know) to subtly swap wine glasses with you at social functions. Hold something and pretend to take sips and then subtly pass it to your accomplice who can finish the drink. Trust me – once the non-sober people are lubricated on a dance floor you can stop faking – they just won’t notice anymore!

 

  1. “I’m pregnant you annoying idiot!”

 

If you’re just getting pestered and there’s no way around it (trust me, there are some moments when you just can’t avoid it) perhaps you need to tell some close people. It depends on how comfortable you feel with that plan and the people – but always an option!!

 

Good luck ladies!!! May you lie through your teeth and survive the first trimester – P.S good luck hiding the vomiting if you’re lucky enough to have it! More tips on nausea management in early pregnancy to come soon!

 

Also – I hear you asking – “what’s with the photo and how does this relate to the post at all?” – well I found once I was over the first trimester (the nausea, the lies and the anxiety of miscarriage) I was ecstatic – reflected in this photo – so there you go!

 

XX