So I’m officially just over 32 weeks pregnant. Yay right? Yes absolutely, but also a touch of nervousness/panic/“oh my goodness there’s so much to do before this baby arrives” – I think this must be the “32 week itch”. I’ve never actually heard the term being used but I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling like this (feel free to reassure me people!).
At around 1130pm every night this week I will whisper to my husband Will, “hey you awake?” “Yeah babe – what’s going on?” is the sleepy response. “Can you believe in less than 8 weeks there will be A BABY in a bassinet in THIS room?” I am not joking – every night it’s the same realisation I have as I drift to sleep. Time is running out and I am so incredibly excited to meet this being – but I also can’t believe how quickly the time goes and how unprepared you feel just before it all happens!
Loads of my patients and friends will say to me, “it must be so easy for you being a doctor – you know exactly what to expect.” Um no – I really really don’t. Sure I know about reflux, feeding issues, sleep problems for infants and about the medicine. But – how many sets of cot sheets do we need? Do we really need mattress protectors for the bassinet and the cot? Am I supposed to know where to go to buy maternity bras? Are we meant to invest in an expresser now before I know whether I will successfully breast feed? And hello, do babies prefer the long suits with their toes covered or the footless ones? I think I would like my feet out because they get hot and I don’t want our baby having hot feet, but does anyone know what babies like!?!
There’s SO much I don’t know. Thanks to mums, girlfriends and helpful patients I’m slowly getting these questions answered but hey – its a seriously steep learning curve.
Doesn’t help we’ve had our birthing skill classes recently. Unfortunately my husband is also a doctor – cue 2 parties in this birthing team who have the wonderful ability to horrifically over think everything medical. I wish I could delete my obstetrics rotation from my brain, forget all the things I saw on the paediatrics ward and start afresh – but I can’t – and dealing with those fears and having no expectations at all is a skill in itself. And with only 8 weeks to go this is something I am working on (hard!) with relaxation techniques and reading some calming books.
So – despite my utter excitement (and trust me I cannot wait for us to hold this baby and see his or her face for the first time) – I am also nervous. And I’ve accepted that’s OK, because the nervousness is just my brain getting me ready for a huge life change. So if there’s 8 weeks left – wonderful, and if we don’t have that much time then that’s fine too – I just need to get the hubby to finish setting up the nursery furniture and figure out how many of those damn cot sheets we need sooner rather than later!